


Catching Up (& Feelings if you squint)

by spiders_n



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (he's sober but he is an alcoholic), Alcoholic Tony Stark, Falling In Love, Fix-It, M/M, Making Up, Not Canon Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Homecoming Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve is crushing on Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23046970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiders_n/pseuds/spiders_n
Summary: "Steve's not entirely sure why the mention of talking to Tony about all of this is making him feel so anxious and tense except for, of course, the fact that things between them are still so unsettled. He has a tiny shameful voice in the back of his mind that is saying that Tony might not be trustworthy when it comes to keeping things off the government’s radar. But then, this is Tony he’s talking about. “I’ve just successfully privatized world peace” Tony. Tony’s never been the biggest fan of government intervention. Until the accords. Until everything had gotten messed up. But even then, he’d acted with nuance, right?"OrSteve and Tony find a way forward after Siberia.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 30
Kudos: 270





	Catching Up (& Feelings if you squint)

**I.**

The unification process starts the night of the United Nations gala in Geneva to celebrate the ratification of the new (and very heavily edited) Sokovia Accords in over 100 countries around the world. The event itself is classy: a lot of world leaders and superheroes in fancy tuxedos and dresses, mingling and acting like they’re on the same side for once. Steve is a bit on edge, all too aware of the fact that up until about nine months ago, most of the people in the room considered him a war criminal. He’s standing by himself on the edge of the room, his drink in one hand and his other in his pocket, trying not to look as uncomfortable in this setting as he is. He’s glad to be there. He’s glad that he got the opportunity to develop the new language and regulations in the accords. Glad they could be made into something that he felt comfortable attaching his name to. Still, it’s no secret that the road to this celebration was paved by a lot of bad feelings on both his sides. 

For the night, though, he forces himself to tuck away those thoughts. They were there to toast to their accomplishment — and there was no doubt that getting the accords ratified was a  _ huge _ accomplishment for everyone in the room. In the back of his mind he remembers his therapist telling him that his homework for the year is to remember to take time to notice progress, and he makes a concerted effort to take in the scene before him in acknowledgement of that advice. 

His eyes wash over the polite (and in some cases genuine) smiles of people he’s worked with on and off for almost a full year and he feels a sense of ease spread through him. This, he reminds himself, is the product of working towards something good rather than against something bad. This mess of imperfect people willing to put themselves on the line for the benefit of the world has managed to put their differences aside and find a governing structure to exist within. And it’s a good thing. 

Beside him, a blur of dark colors and expensive fabrics comes into focus and he’s greeted with the polished face of someone he’s worked with for a lot longer than a year. Something in Steve’s chest contracts as he closes in. 

“Enjoying the sweet taste of victory?” Tony asks from beside him, eyes and smile soft. 

“Something like that.” Steve says back. They’d spoken since the negotiations for the accords began, but only in a professional manner, in front of others, for the sake of their respective teams. A conversation between just the two of them hadn’t taken place in over two and a half years. So, it really should have felt awkward for Steve, but instead, it just felt familiar. “What about you?” he asks. 

Tony smiles. “Uh, more like the sweet taste of root beer but —” He shrugs. “Could be worse.”

Steve smiles back, eyes down on the ground for a moment before he meets Tony’s. “No whiskey tonight? Got an early wake-up call in the morning?” He asks, eyes flicking down to Tony’s drink. 

Tony pauses and glances at him for a brief moment before he speaks “No, that mistress and I called things off about a year and a half ago. She was a great lay, but the comedown was a bitch,” he jokes and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a purple chip with the words “To thine own self be true” emblazoned around a large “18 months” on it. He offers it over to Steve without looking up from it. 

For a moment Steve just looks at it, mind working double time to process the information. He looks up at Tony and almost without his permission his face falls into an expression of pride. “I’m proud of you Tony. That’s —that’s really great. I’m glad that you’re doing well,” he says earnestly. 

Tony quirks a brow. “Well, if I’m not, at least I’m painfully aware of it.” The ends of his mouth pull up and he shrugs again. “I owed it to my friends. I’ve ruined enough birthday parties and weddings for a lifetime. At some point, enough is enough,” he says simply. 

Steve nods and moves his eyes out over the people talking and eating. “I think you probably owed it to yourself too,” he says quietly. 

Tony laughs and shakes his head. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.” He pauses and his eyes follows Steve’s gaze over the gala “At least it got us here. That seemed pretty impossible two years ago.” 

Steve fixes Tony with a grin. “I’ll drink to that!” Steve says and his lemonade meets noisily with Tony’s root beer. Tony rolls his eyes, but takes a sip nonetheless. It’s quiet for a moment as they both turn to the crowd. Then Tony says, “I should get back over to my table. Looks like Pep is five seconds away from breaking the Prime Minister’s heart.” His eyes move back to Steve’s. “I’ll see you around, Cap.” Tony mock-salutes as he walks away. 

Steve watches him move, watches as he announces his presence back at his table with a joke that explodes through the other people sitting around it, heads thrown back in genuine mirth as Tony slides in next to Pepper. He watches and then he forces himself to not. 

**II.**

After seeing Tony once about every month while working on the Accords (and then managing a pleasant conversation at the UN gala), Steve is hopeful. Maybe some semblance of friendship can take form between them again. Though, he’s careful not to push.

Tony’s sobriety is still novel to Steve, who has never known Tony to be without a drink in any social setting. It was such a normal part of Tony’s aesthetic that towards the end, Steve hadn’t even noticed it anymore. Now though, he sees Tony fairly often, at events, at meetings, sometimes on the occasional mission and it stays with him that Tony’s hands are never holding a drink. 

They’re at a fundraiser for a children’s hospital in Miami when he sees Tony suit up for the first time since everything happened between them. 

Steve looks up from where he’s squatting to pose for a picture — with one of the children who had performed in a choir for the evening’s entertainment — when Tony pushes his way through the doors at the back of the venue. He’s wearing a fitted maroon suit and sunglasses to match as he swaggers over to the hospital director. A smile stretches his lips in that way that somehow always allows him to get away with showing up over an hour late to  _ most _ of the things he attends. This time is no exception and Steve watches as the hospital director pulls Tony into the conversation easily, laughing as he tells a joke. 

“Captain, the camera is over here,” the kid’s mother tells him politely and Steve’s eyes snap back to her. He feels a blush spread over his cheeks that are thankfully hidden behind his beard. “Sorry.” He plasters on a smile as she clicks a few photos of him. 

As soon as he stands and waves goodbye to the pair, Steve scans the room for Tony. He’s almost painfully aware of the uncontrollable smile that slides onto his face when he finds that Tony has moved on from the group of executives to one composed primarily of 5-year-olds.

_ Seems fitting _ , he thinks to himself momentarily. 

A little girl thrusts her palm outward, miming a repulser blast right into Tony’s chest and he falls back, limbs splaying out and eyes dramatically rolling in fake defeat. The kids around him burst into a fit of giggles, just as charmed by him as his previous audience was. 

Steve walks over, unsure of why, except that he genuinely wants to get in on the fun. 

“Uh oh, looks like Captain America has come to avenge my death.” Tony says from his back, on the floor, one eye open. “Better run before he gets you!” And his words have a lightning effect on the kids. They all begin running, unsure of where to go so they end up just making a couple laps around the area they’re all standing in as Steve crouches down to offer Tony help up.

“Cap, I think I’ve been attacked.” Tony’s voice is dripping in faux panic and he struggles to his feet, holding his chest where his wound would be. His eyes find Steve’s and sparkle as he struggles to keep his face in a frown. 

“Well, what did you do to deserve it?” Steve responds loud enough for the giggling children to hear him. The kid who fake-shot Tony stops and says through a giddy smile, “He didn’t do anything. We’re just playing around, sir!” 

Steve’s smile is softer than it’s been in years when he glances over at Tony. “Oh, I see.” He addresses her directly. “Well, I won’t spoil the fun then.” 

“No it’s okay, Cap. I was actually just gonna show the kiddos my new suit. You guys wanna see it?” He asks looking at them all. 

“Yeah!” They collectively cheer and Tony’s smile somehow doubles. He steps back so there’s a good bit of space between him and anyone else. Then he looks over at Steve, eyebrows jumping on his forehead as he brings his hand up to his arc reactor and taps out a short pattern. 

In a millisecond, the suit starts to appear, spreading out from the arc reactor to cover his whole body, crawling over his arms and down his back and legs, somehow seamlessly sliding under his feet, until the only thing left uncovered is his head. 

The children around them start squealing in excitement and honestly, some of the adults mingling nearby do, too. It’s the kind of moment you almost wish you could record in your brain because it happens so quickly. Tony’s smiling at the smattering of applause that breaks out of the crowd as all the kids start jumping up and down, unable to contain themselves for a second longer. 

Steve tries really really hard to school his face into something more dignified than the  _ utter _ amazement he’s feeling at the moment. He’s spent a lot of time with Tony —years with him — watching him create some of the most mind-boggling technology he’s ever come across. And never in all those years has he seen something quite as magical as this. 

The crowd around them grows as people push their way towards Tony for pictures or to chat and Steve instinctively moves out of the way, over to the side where he can plop down. It only takes a second for Pepper, who’d come to the fundraiser too and actually showed up on time, to plop down a couple tables away from where he had. They catch each other’s eye across the mass of empty seats. He offers her a small smile, shrugging his shoulders as if to say “Hey, that’s Tony.” The eyeroll and smile she returns are fond. 

After a good hour or so of pomp and circumstance during which Tony grips hands and grins for pictures with literally everybody who asks and Steve does his best to do the same, though with decidedly less gravitas, Tony makes his way over to Steve. 

“I love the ones for kids.” He says by way of hello. 

Steve nods. “You were great back there.” And it comes out a lot more tender than he intends it to. 

Tony chuckles dismissively, “You know how I am when I get in front of a good audience. Kind of hard to mess things up with a group of five year olds cheering for you.” 

Steve’s face slides into a smile. “Kind of hard to mess things up when you’ve got a magic superhero suit in your back pocket.” 

Tony’s lets out a big laugh at that, the kind that makes his eyes crinkle at the sides. Steve squirms under it, wondering momentarily if it feels this intense for everybody who gets to be the cause of Tony’s laughter. Steve’s face opens up from his closed mouthed smile to a wide grin without his permission and the heady feeling of Tony’s attention is warm on his face when Tony’s eyes meet his again. “Well technically it’s nano tech, not magic. Good to know it looks as impressive to everyone else as it looked when I first figured it out. Been working on it for almost a year now. It’s not fully functional for battle but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to use it on show mode for today.” 

“Nono tech?” Steve asks, eyebrows raised. “You’ve been busy, haven’t you?” 

“I’m always busy, Cap.” Tony raises his shoulders. “It’s pretty incredible what you can get done when you’re not constantly nursing a hangover and you’ve got help in the lab.”

Steve nods slowly eyes raking over the suit’s new design from the tops of Tony shoulders to the boots on his feet. “It looks pretty incredible” he agrees. And then because he’s nosy and can’t help but be curious about what a sober Tony gets up to, he asks, “I assume this means you’ve finally given Pepper the run of things with SI and she’s confined you to the lab?” 

“You assume correctly. I’d been toying around with a lot of interesting new ideas in my head for a while and I finally just decided to focus my time on seeing them through.” He drops his voice into a mocking tone. “My therapist said that I needed to replace my unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones.” He rolls his eyes but his smile betrays the banality behind the teasing. “It’s easier for me to forget things when I've got something to build or deconstruct. Plus Pep wanted to delegate R&D to someone new so it just sort of worked out.” Tony explains. 

Steve nods, silently hoping that his face doesn’t give away just how much he wants to know about what he’s missed in Tony’s life in the past two years. The information forms a picture in his head. He can see Tony in his lab, using the new time he has to get lost in his own inventions as an escape from the chaos in his life. Plus apparently he was seeing a therapist, which is unexpected but very nice to know. Steve had figured that sobriety meant some sort of group therapy but to hear that Tony was getting help one on one was a welcome surprise. He contemplates for a moment whether to say what’s on his mind, unsure if they are at that point yet. He wants to be. 

He finally settles for saying, “I’m glad you’re taking their advice.” and then dares to add, “Healthy is a good look on you.” 

His eyes find Tony’s and he offers a friendly smile before turning towards the nearest table to grab his drink. His eyes catch on Tony’s red and gold shoulder where there’s a barely noticeable inscription that Steve has to squint to see. 

_ Made by  _

_ T.S. & P.P. _

He stops short for a moment, caught off guard but before he can get a better look Tony’s tapping out another short pattern on his arc reactor and the suit crawls back into it. 

“If I'd have known you felt that way, I’d have tried it out a long time ago.” He says grinning at Steve. “By the way, I'm loving the grizzly mountain thing you’ve got going on here.” He gestures to his own chin. “It’s very ‘I’ve been living off the land.’ It’s a good look if you can pull it off.” He continues. “I prefer a little man-scaping but,” he points at Steve and slides down into a seat, legs crossing, one hand unbuttoning his jacket. “You make it work, Cap.” 

“Thank you. It’s…” He reaches up to scratch a hand through the hair on his face. “Warm. Kind of nice for this time of year.” He finishes. 

“Yeah. Should stop by my place upstate sometime, I’ve got all kinds of beard oils and balms you could try. Companies send me them all the time.” Tony offers as Steve drops into the chair beside him. 

Steve’s eyebrows raise in surprise at the invitation but he replies quickly before Tony can take it back, “Maybe I will, sometime.” 

**III.**

Things start to solidify into something Steve can sort of recognize just three weeks later while he and a few previously unregistered superheroes are in Los Angeles doing press to educate the public about the new accords. 

Steve wakes up in his hotel bed, a bit disoriented from how deeply he’d been sleeping, to a steady pounding on the door. He lifts his head, immediately nervous when he notices that the room is still covered in the heavy cloud of darkness that he’d fallen asleep in. He glances at the window, draped in blackout curtains which are covered with a second decorative set, and tries to make out if the sun is even beginning to make an appearance on the other side of them. Nothing, it’s still the middle of the night. The pounding sounds again and he sits up to shake himself to attention, reaching for his phone and squinting his eyes at the brightness that greets him when he wakes it. 

_ 3:48am  _

His face contorts into an automatic scowl as he slides out of bed swiftly and covers the space between it and the door in two quick strides. He leans in to peek through the peephole. 

A stony faced Natasha glares back at him, unseeing. 

Without thinking, he swings the door open. 

“Nat?” He says concerned. 

Natasha pushes him back into the room and closes the door behind her with haste. When she turns back to Steve her expression is nervous. His heart rate picks up immediately. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, concerned. 

Natasha pushes her lips together firmly and swallows. “Thor is back on earth. He just called Fury.” Her voice is a forced steady that Steve has heard a million times. 

Steve automatically lets out a sigh of relief, his body relaxing out of the tense stance it had slipped into when he’d seen her. 

“Okay.” He starts, calmly, “That’s a good thing, right?” He asks and then considers her face. “Is he okay?” He leans back against the desk behind him, crossing his arms as he fixes Natasha with his furrowed brow. 

When, after a beat, Natasha doesn’t answer, Steve reaches out to place his hand gently on her shoulder.

“Nat? Talk to me, what’s going on?” He repeats and he wills himself to stay calm despite the dread that builds up in his body at the look of mingled sadness and anxiety that washes over Natasha’s features at the warm concern in his voice. 

“Asgard has been destroyed.” She says finally. Her eyes meet Steve and the corners of her lips turn down in restraint, like she’s holding back tears. She swallows thickly, again and then quietly adds, “Only about half got out before it happened. They have nowhere to go.” 

Steve feels the breath leave his body all in one go, mind jumping in a million different directions, providing him with every horrible question that the new information poses. Somewhere in the back of his head, his brain unhelpfully supplies that according to the new accords, Thor being on earth has to be reported to the UN immediately. He forces himself to slow down before that thought can get him too riled up. He bullies his brain to focus on the most important things that need to be addressed. 

“Where is Thor now?” He asks her, voice automatically switching from that of Steve Rogers to Captain America.

“London.” She responds, doing her best to match his commanding tone but falling a bit short. 

Steve nods distantly and takes a moment to pick out his next question. 

“How quickly can somebody get to him?” He moves his eyes back to meet hers. 

“That’s the thing, he has somebody with him.” She says in the same forced calm that she’d started with. It doesn’t fool Steve for a second. 

“Loki?” He guesses, his body going rigid. 

The anger melts away when Natasha finally gives in and meets him with a watery gaze. “He has Bruce with him, Steve.” She whispers and she blinks at him several times after she’s said it, the tears barely held back. 

Steve’s face falls and he closes his eyes for a second, opening them up to look at Natasha with his softest expression. 

“Jesus.” He breathes out and then, without thinking, pulls her into a hug. “Are you okay?” He asks from above her, chin resting on the top of her head. She sucks a deep breath in and nods but keeps herself firmly in his arms. 

“Can I have 30 seconds to be the worst person on earth?” She says finally, voice muffled against Steve’s sleep shirt? 

“Okay.” 

“I don’t want him back.” 

Steve tries to keep his tone neutral, “Okay…” he says quietly. 

“I mean of course I want him back. But it’s like....” She pauses and chokes out a humorless chuckle. “I lost him, mourned him, said goodbye to him, got closure, moved on...and the whole time he was just...chilling with Thor? Keep him.” She says in a frustrated tone. 

He considers his response carefully. He wants to comfort her, wants to let her have this time to be a bit selfish and shortsighted. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that she deserves to fall apart every now and again. They all do. But no matter how much he wants to be Natasha’s friend, he also has to be Captain America and important questions need to be answered. 

“Sounds like Thor might not have room at the Inn, Nat.” He says gently. “Speaking of which,” He switches back to his Captain America voice, but comprises his two responsibilities by keeping Natasha in his hug. “What do we know about Thor’s situation? Is he still in danger? Do we need to be worried about an incoming attack?” He asks. 

Natasha makes his attempt at being both her friend and her commander easier by stepping back out of his arms and wiping her face. She settles into her normal stance that makes her look like she could either be enjoying light conversation with a friend or planning how to infiltrate a top security building, and clears her throat before answering. 

“We don’t know much. He told Fury that Asgard has been destroyed by the Goddess of Death, that many of his people didn’t survive and that the rest are housed on a couple of refugee vessels until they can find a new place to settle.” She stops for a moment and shifts her weight looking at Steve carefully. 

“Fury contacted me through secure means. He doesn’t want anyone else to know Thor is here,” she says finally. 

Steve heaves a deep breath and pushes his lips together to keep from actually cursing out loud and then does it anyway. “Fuck.” He says under his breath and then when the full weight of what this means hits him, he says it again, louder, turning to rest his hands on the edge of the desk he’d been half sitting on. Head hung low and eyes pulled shut he tries his best to swallow down everything he’d ever said was wrong with the accords and why. Finally, after a few very strained moments he turns back to Natasha and crosses his arms. 

“Okay.” He forces his voice even. “Where do we go from here?” He asks her. 

“Well,” Natasha starts, eyeing Steve with intensity. “We should probably decide if we’re gonna listen to fury or not.”

Steve stops short, his head tilting slightly in question. “You think we should tell the UN anyway?”

“No,” Natasha says quickly. “But I might drop Tony a line. He might —I don’t know— he might be able to help us figure out a plan of action.”

Steve doesn’t stop looking at her for a few long minutes and he can feel his jaw tighten before he even realizes he’s got his teeth clenched. He’s not entirely sure why the mention of talking to Tony about all of this is making him feel so anxious and tense except for, of course, the fact that things between them are still so unsettled. He has a tiny shameful voice in the back of his mind that is saying that Tony might not be trustworthy when it comes to keeping things off the government’s radar. But then, this is Tony he’s talking about. “I’ve just successfully privatized world peace” Tony. Tony’s never been the biggest fan of government intervention. Until the accords. Until everything had gotten messed up. But even then, he’d acted with nuance, right? He’d kept Ross off of all of their trails for the entire episode in Siberia and after. 

Steve is sure Tony’d known where they all were. Sure he'd been tracking them since the moment he got back from Russia. And if that’s true and he’s right, then Tony had also kept the information about where they were to himself for over a year. He’s not a stranger to keeping information from the government, even where the Accords are concerned. And, Steve thinks maybe he’d do that again for Thor and Bruce. At least until they can all figure out what to do. And then he runs into a problem. 

He raises his eyebrows at Natasha “You know how to get a hold of him? In a way that won’t draw the government’s attention? Or Fury’s for that matter?” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t. But you do.” 

He looks at her with surprise. “I do?” 

“Well that depends, actually. Do you still have the old flip phone?” Natasha asks, knowingly. 

Steve heaves a heavy breath in response, almost asking her how on earth she knows about the flip phone, but ultimately thinks better of it. He does still have it. He always has it. He grabs it like he grabs his wallet and keys every morning when he wakes up. He’d forgotten, in the half assed way you always forget about things you carry around all the time, that he has it with him. He turns around then, walks to the sleek modern countertop that occupies the side of the room and houses the mini bar. He’d empty the content of his pockets onto it before he’d taken a shower and climbed into bed the evening before. It only takes him a second to locate the phone.

“I still have it,” He grumbles out, and he’s not really sure who he’s annoyed with, but the feeling spreads through him momentarily as he takes the phone into his hand. He pauses for a second, unsure of how he wants to go about making the phone call. 

“Do you want me to do it?” Natasha offers, sensing his unease. He’s never told her what all happened between he and Tony but he suspects that Bucky has. If she does know, she’d never said anything to him about it. 

Steve looks at her and considers it for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I'll do it.” 

He looks down at the phone, it’s thick, brick like structure making it practically indestructible compared to the miniature computer he carries around with him for daily use. The thought occurs to him that Tony might not even keep his around, but somehow he doesn’t think that’ll be the case. Tony isn’t the kind of person who closes doors, even if in this case he’d have every reason to. 

Before Steve can ever register all that his fingers have done, the phone is pulled up to his ear, and is ringing in it’s attempt to reach Tony’s number. It takes 6 rings before the line connects. 

“Hello?” Tony’s confused voice sounds muffled and tired on the other end of the phone. Steve’s heart rate spikes. 

“Tony?” Steve asks, trying and probably failing to put on his Captain America voice. 

“Cap?” Tony says, with more surprise than anything else this time. Steve can hear some shuffling from the phone side of the line and then Tony’s voice is much clearer and more alert. “Steve what’s going on? Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Steve assures him, because if the shoes were on the other’s feet, he’d want to know that first. Then he continues on, this time Captain America voice doesn’t fail him. “But we have a situation. Thor just made an appearance earth side and he brought Bruce. They’re in London right now.” 

“ _ Bruce? _ ” Tony breathes out before pausing. “Are  _ they _ okay?” He finally asks. 

“No. Asgard has been attacked and destroyed. Only half of them made it out alive. They are seeking asylum. I don’t know how Thor is. So far only me, you, Natasha, and Fury know.” Steve tries to make it quick. Runs through all the bullet points he’d want to know if Tony were the one calling him with this. 

There’s a quiet moment that passes before Tony heaves a heavy sigh. “FRIDAY, I need you to prepare the Mark  LXXX for a long flight. Make sure the London house is ready for occupation at full capacity. I’m gonna have you update Pepper on what’s going on in a couple of minutes when I know more, sit tight until then. Maybe brew me a cup of coffee for the road.” Tony clears his throat. “Do you guys have a plan?” 

Steve looks at Natasha for help answering that even though he knows she couldn’t hear Tony’s question. “We were waiting until we talked to you. Obviously things are a bit more complicated now then they were the last time Thor and Bruce were here.” He tries to answer it in a way that doesn’t sound like an enactment of the accords. 

“Right.” Tony sighs. “Do you guys have any thoughts on where to go from here? Because at this point I’m getting ready to have FRIDAY figure out how many asgardians I can fit in my London house.” 

Steve lets out a huff of something that might be a laugh if the situation weren’t quite as serious. “I don’t know, Tony. At this point I’m not even sure how to get to them without alerting the authorities. I feel like we all need more information.” 

“Agreed,” Tony says quickly, and Steve can hear that he’s clearly typing something out on his end of the line. “I’m gonna be in the air in 5 minutes. It’ll take me an hour if I go quickly. You guys will have a jet at LAX in 40 minutes. Use your time in the sky to strategize and I'll make sure Ross is looking in the other direction when you enter British airspace.”

Steve nods, thinking through all the potential ramifications of flying to London and ultimately deciding that there’s no other way for them to figure this out. “Okay. LAX in 40 minutes. I can do that. Thank you, Tony. I—” He tries to think of a way to say all that he wants to, but he can’t. “We’ll see you in London.” 

“See you in London,” Tony says with finality, but then he seems to remember something at the last second. “Does Fury know you called me?” 

Steve stops short, unsure of how Tony’s gonna react to the truth. “Uh, not exactly,” he says in an apologetic tone. 

“Oh good,” Tony replies. “I’ve been meaning to ruin his day. It’s gonna be like old times, all 5 five of us back together again. I can hardly wait.” Tony says sardonically. The lines disconnects before Steve has the chance to respond. He brings the phone away from his ear. 

“We’re going to LAX in 40 minutes?” Natasha asks expectantly. 

Steve nods firmly. “Tony is on his way to London now. He’s sending a jet for us. We’ve gotta figure out a plan in the sky. I’m guessing he’ll call us with more intel as soon as he has it.” 

Natasha nods slowly, clearly thinking about something, before she shakes her head and looks back at Steve. “‘S a long time to be trapped in a confined space with me when i’m this upset, Rogers. Sure you’re up to the task?” 

Steve gives her a weary look. “Are you actually gonna talk to me?” He asks, eyebrows raised. 

Natasha returns his gaze with equal question. “Are you gonna tell me what the hell is up between you and Tony?” 

Steve’s expression sobers a little bit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies. 

Natasha just snorts. 

**IV.**

After working together through the shit storm that was Bruce and Thor’s arrival on earth, and subsequent induction into the accords, he and Tony had done the impossible. They’d become friends again. Well. Tentatively. They spoke to each other by choice now and not just by chance, but there was still a tension between them that was unresolved. They’d fought, hard. Steve had wedged his shield into Tony’s arc reactor, Tony had tried to kill his best friend, there was a lot of stuff being left unsaid between them, but still. There was a lot of stuff that was being said between them too. They talked a bit about the team, now. And what the new accords would mean in regards to getting The Avengers back together. Clint was officially out, but they had others that could join. Others that could make it a real team. Steve tries not to think about what it would take to make Bucky a part of that team. It feels like it’s not even possible. He and Tony were friendly again but nothing could erase what was done. 

That’s why when Steve opened his phone one day and saw that he had a text from Tony, he was only a little surprised.

Tony Stark: 

_ Where are you this week? We should get dinner!” _

Steve Rogers: 

_ I’m home for the next couple of weeks. Needed a break from all the appearances. I swear if I have to talk about the accords to one more person… _

Steve presses send, reading the message back to himself only after. A thought occurs to him. 

Steve Rogers:

_ Home is Brooklyn, by the way. _

Tony Stark:

_ That’s perfect actually because I’m in New York all week doing morning shows and talking about the accords. Dinner on Tuesday? You pick the place.  _

Steve Rogers: 

_ How about here? When was the last time you had a home cooked meal? _

Tony Stark

_ It’s been a while. You’re on, Cap. I’ll see you Tuesday at 7?  _

Steve Rogers: 

See you at 7. 

The conversation comes and goes that quickly. Steve reads it over a couple times before it actually hits him that he and Tony are going to voluntarily spend an entire evening both alone and together. The rational side of him, the side that knows that eating dinner together is something that friends do all the time, reminds him that this is no big deal, just the natural next step in them building up to a real honest to god friendship. His less rational side is panicking over the fact that an honest to god friendship with Tony was on the table at all. It was a heady possibility, one that he both desperately wanted to heed and desperately wanted not to care about. 

He does care, though. A lot. 

The days leading up to Tuesday seem to simultaneously drag on and fly by so that by the time he starts making Dinner around 6 o’clock he feels a strange mix of exhausted and exhilarated. He busies himself with the process of preparing the specialty salad he’d decided on days earlier, chopping vegetables and grilling chicken on his patio, listening to music through the speakers in his small apartment as he moves between the rooms.

At 7 o’clock nearly on the dot there is a knock at the door and Steve pads, barefooted, across his apartment to open it. 

He swings it open to find Tony leaning haphazardly against the wall, legs crossed at the ankle and hands holding tight to Steve’s shield as it rests against the top of his shoes. 

He grins up at Steve, kicks the shield up as he steps forward, grabbing it with his opposite hand. “I never figured out what to bring to this sort of thing now that I’m sober.” Tony says and then he’s right in front of him. He lifts the shield up between them like it’s a cheap bottle of wine and not the most precious thing Steve has ever owned. 

Steve’s eyes are wide, brain tripping over itself to process the scene before him. He forces himself to at least grab the shield. Tony smiles at him and pushes past him to walk into the apartment before Steve’s brain even catches up to the fact that he has his  _ shield  _ in his hand. 

“So this is casa de Rogers, huh?” Tony says, looking around the apartment and taking it in. “It’s very you.” He says finally looking back at him. 

Steve’s brain finally catches up and he notices with a twinge of embarrassment that his mouth is open slightly in surprise. He foces it shut and looks down at the shield in his hands. It’s a neutral temperature under his touch but nothing else about it seems even remotely innocent. Memories of fights, of their fight, pour over him. 

“Tony,” he starts quietly, his eyes still peering down at the shield. The door is open behind him and almost as an excuse to catch his breath he turns to shut it before he looks up at the man across the room. “I can’t take this,” he breathes out, and it’s still quiet. 

“Why?” Tony says eyes locked on his. 

“Because it doesn’t belong to me.”

“He made it for you, Steve. Just take it.” Tony’s voice is resigned. 

“Tony—” Steve starts but he’s cut off. 

“Okay fine, you wanna do this now? Let's do this. I’ll start. I was wrong,” he says plainly, and then purses his lips in thought and continues. “Well. About most things. You were wrong about the accords, actually.” he points at Steve before bringing his arms out in a shrug. “That turned out okay. And lying to me. About my parents. That’s on you. But the rest? The fight and the-” he gestures to the shield, “The ‘that doesn’t belong to you’ bullshit” he flicks his wrist. “That was just anger and...hurt speaking. I was being a prick. It’s yours. He made it for you. You should just take it.” 

It’s impossible for Steve to look like any more of a deer in the headlights but somehow he manages it as he looks at Tony and then back at his shield. 

“To be fair,” He starts, tentatively, “We would have never fought if I'd just told you what I knew about your parents when I found out. Maybe if I'd trusted you more from the start.” His eyes lock on Tony’s as he pulls his lips into a grimace. “I should have. I’m sorry I didn’t.” He says and his throat is thick with the overwhelming regret he feels about the whole thing. 

They stay like that for a second, eyes locked on each other before Tony takes a deep breath and nods to himself, and he pulls his gaze to the floor. Steve can almost hear the sound of his internal debate. 

“You got any more secrets that I need to know?” He asks, and Steve can tell he’s trying to make it a joke but there’s a tiny bit of genuine nervousness the peaks through the question. It disarms Steve even further. There’s something,  _ something _ about Tony in particular that always gets at Steve’s deepest sense of self. Like he’s the worst version of himself when he’s at odds with the man in front of him, and he’s been that man for two full years. Here Tony is offering a clear path forward, looking at him in the eyes and offering his apologies for something Steve’s not even sure he can blame him for. He’s always admired Tony, always kind of wanted to punch him too, but at that moment he’s not sure what he feels at all. He just knows he doesn’t want to be at odds with him any more. 

“I’m an open book from here on out, Tony. At least where it concerns you,” He says, and he’s not entirely sure if he meant it until it was out of his mouth but he means it now. 

Without warning Tony closes the distance between them and holds out his hand. “I’ll forgive you, if you forgive me,” He says, expression serious and eyes earnest. 

Steve takes it firmly and shakes. “Deal,” he says and Tony gives him a nod. 

There's a pause between them and for a second the weight of what they’d just agreed to forgive hangs between them like a heavy blanket and it’s still tense enough that Steve’s unsure how to move on from it. His eyes drift to Tony’s even though he knows that’ll just make it worse, when, to his surprise, he’s smiling. And then he’s barely holding in a laugh and before Steve even realizes he’s smiling back. 

“What?” he asks, trying to place Tony’s look. 

Tony finally busts out laughing, head thrown back arms clutching his stomach, tears threatening to spill out of the corner of his eyes. “I just-” he starts but the giggles keep him from continuing. It takes him a full minute before he can talk, sighing as he starts. “I was so nervous to do this, Steve. Like you don’t understand. I’ve been so nervous to have this conversation. I practiced with my Therapist and with Pepper. And when I left to come here I had this whole plan worked out. I was going to approach the topic with you calmly, there was a whole script, it was lovely, I’ll send it to you sometime.” His giggles threaten to run over again but he stamps them down. “And in the end I just- I just showed up and threw your shield at you.” He finishes before falling back into giggles taking Steve with him. 

They both laugh like that, hard, and every time they meet each other’s eyes they fall right back into it again, stronger somehow. Somewhere in the midst Steve starts talking. 

“Tony I changed the menu like 5 times for dinner tonight,” he starts. “I was so nervous too. I don’t even know why. I definitely wasn’t planning on trying to talk to you about any of this. It was just so obvious we needed to” and he laughs again. “I even googled your favorite food. I couldn’t remember.” he says and he covers his face with his hands. 

Tony loses it at that. “You-” he says breathless and when he can’t finish he mimes typing on a phone and raises his eyebrows in question. Steve’s nod is lost to his laughing and they do that for a while before either one can speak. 

“We’re so stupid. We were friends before everything happened, we can be friends again, right?” Steve says leaning against the counter. 

“God I hope so,” Tony says, and it’s earnest. “Let’s start with dinner and see if we can make it through without trying to kill each other.” 

“I can give that a shot,” Steve says and there’s a small smile over his face. 

And they do. They give themselves a shot at being normal around each other and it’s as easy as it had been before for them. Actually, it’s kind of better. They talk a lot. All the way through dinner and into dessert as they both pick at apple pie and ice cream at Steve’s dining room table, pausing their conversation only for Tony to tease him about having made them  _ apple pie _ of all things, for dessert. 

It’s a while before Steve realizes that Tony interrupting him to tease about the dessert is almost the most he’s said since they began. 

“I’ve been talking all night.” He says apologetically, offering Tony the floor. “You talk, tell me about what you’ve been up to in the last few years.” and then he thinks to add, “How are things with Pepper?” 

Tony shrugs “I hear myself talk all the time. I like hearing you talk, Cap. I’ve missed it. It’s like talking to the concept of the voice of reason,” he responds. “Very foreign to me.”

Steve’s cheeks get a little pink under his beard and he’s secretly very glad that he still hasn’t shaved even though it’s started to warm up. His lips fall into a smile and he says, “Still. You should take your turn.” 

Tony takes a breath, “Well,” and then there’s pause before he finds a thought. “Pepper’s doing well, actually. Things between us have improved a lot since we called it off. I think that we both really needed it in order to find the change we wanted. She promised me when I decided to go to rehab that she’d be my support system through that and she has. I told her that if she wants to find another person to be co-CEO of SI so she could focus more on herself than I’d support her through that, and I have. It’s been kind of weird. I feel like now that we’re not together we’re closer than we’ve ever been and better for each other? I don’t know. Life’s crazy.” 

Steve’s lips pull into a line as he listens his brow furrowing and head nodding along as Tony speaks, “Sometimes you really are just better with someone as friends,” He says once Tony finishes. 

“Apparently. I’ve never really been good at distinguishing romantic love from platonic. I feel them in the same place,” Tony replies. 

“You feel them in the same place?” Steve can’t help the laugh the ruffles through him. 

Tony’s smile is genuine. “Yeah. You know when you feel a really strong burst of love for someone?” he asks

Steve nods. 

“I feel that right here.” He leans forward and reaches a hand out to touch the center of Steve’s chest. “It’s the same for my friends and my partners, when I’ve loved them,” he finishes. 

Steve’s eyebrows furrow again but the smile stays resolutely on his lips. “I guess it’s been so long since I’ve been in love that I don’t remember where I feel it,” he says in realization. 

“Well you should fall in love soon, then. If only to test it out,” Tony says teasingly. 

Steve rolls his eyes. “Well If you have any takers send ‘em my way,” He says and the conversation starts to stall out. Both of them content to eat their pie and sit in silence for a couple moments. 

Finally Steve speaks. “Honestly, though what the hell happened to you over the last two years? It’s like you’re the second edition Tony Stark, now with healthy coping mechanisms and knowledge of where in his body he feels specific kinds of love,” He says, half joking, half genuinely befuddled by how much the man has changed. 

Tony laughs and his eyebrows raise in an expression that says ‘fair enough’ before he manages to respond. “I don’t know. I think I just found a reason good enough to actually convince myself to get help and then just held on for dear life. Some days I definitely feel like I'm barely holding on to the wagon’s bumper but̉—” His hand moves up to rub through his beard. “They tell me it’s a journey so...” His eyebrows raise and his lips form a line but he doesn’t say anything else. 

Steve wants to ask what the reason is, so badly. But it feels like the kind of thing Tony would have specified if he’d wanted to, so he lets it go. Instead, he takes his last bite of apple pie and just says, “I’m glad you found it, Tony.” 

**V.**

Things should have been fine between he and Tony after that, and for the most part they were. They spoke often and it sometimes felt like the friendship between them was so strong that it was taking on a new different level that he’d never really reached with any of his other friends. And all that was really great, except the things Steve couldn’t stop thinking about. The things that he noticed but didn’t really think were all that important until they were all lined up together. For one thing, the initials that he’d thought he’d seen on the shoulder of Tony’s suit were, in fact, there the next time they had a mission together. 

_ Made By _

_ T.S. and P.P. _

He saw it as Tony landed next to him after they’d jointly disarmed a group of hydra affiliates. His eyes momentarily fixed on the words. It wasn’t that unusual, really. Tony did make his own suits, so putting a signature on one was entirely possible, he supposed, but the second set of letters is what ultimately gave him pause.  _ P.P.  _ Pepper Potts, he thought. But then why did  _ Pepper _ of all people help build this new nano tech suit? He’d known her as long as he’d known Tony and while Steve was 100% sure there’s nothing she can’t do once she puts her mind to it, going from having basically no interest in anything Tony was ever working on to helping him create the cutting edge nanotechnology that he was wearing now seemed like a big leap even for the two years Steve had been out of the picture. 

Plus there was Tony’s calendar. He’d seen it once when the old crew got together for dinner at Clint’s place about two weeks after he and Tony had officially made up. 

They’d all seen each other here and there, most of them had been doing a lot of work for the Accords, but they hadn’t really gotten the chance to catch up since before the first accords happened. It was nice, the six of them all sitting around the table, mingled conversations criss crossing as they uncovered the new elements of each other’s life. 

“You seem a lot more relaxed, though. What’s the trick?” Clint had remarked to him after he asked Bruce if he’d been taking it easy. 

“Oh he definitely is,” Tony spoke up from beside him, his hand reaching out to grab his knee but landing just a couple inches above it on his thigh. He didn’t seem to notice but Steve definitely did. “The other day he said “fuck” right to my face and I about fell over,” He continued. 

Around the table eyebrows shot up and Steve blushed at the attention but didn’t shy away. 

“Yeah well, after becoming a war criminal for a couple years, you stop sweating the little stuff,” Steve said to general amusement. 

“I’ve just been throwing myself into my work, really,” Bruce piped up. 

“Hey me too, Banner. Maybe we should cope together sometime. It’s been a while since you’ve been to the toy factory,” Tony offered in response, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. 

Bruce smiles. “What are you doing next week?” 

At that Tony brought up his hand, tapped his watch face twice before bringing his hand up diagonally in a swift expansion of the the picture so that it’s splayed in front of him, holographically. He swiped to the right and a calendar popped onto the screen. 

Even after years of watching Tony use tech like this, it still made Steve’s eyes go wide as he studied the mass of information being displayed from Tony’s watch. The calendar read March at the top and Steve’s eyes raked over the flurry of colorful dots that littered each day. His eyes, almost like they were looking for it, caught immediately on all the days that had a red dot labeled P.P. on them. There was one on at least half the days in March. 

Eventually the calendar went back into the watch, Tony and Bruce decided on a day in the next week to get together in Tony’s new lab upstate. Steve listened and smiled along but his head was stuck on the P.P. that kept showing up on Tony’s things. 

It bothered him in the way that he’d pointedly been trying to ignore. The idea of Pepper and Tony working together again, on things they were both interested in, late at night with Tony’s undeniable charm and Pepper’s undeniable beauty. The possibilities that his mind created around that scenario kept the presence of the initials on the suit and calendar at the forefront of his brain for months after he’d seen them. 

Here’s the weird thing: He likes Pepper. A lot. He thinks she is kind and smart and altogether a very lovely person to be around, and the way she handled Tony when he couldn’t even handle himself was, at the very least, admirable. He’d always held nothing but warm feelings and high regard for her. But he can’t deny that now, when he thinks about her, there is a pang of something different that he doesn’t like to think about. 

It isn’t that he doesn’t like Pepper, it’s that he very much does. And he can see why Tony does, too. And he knows that Tony feels platonic love and romantic love in the same place. So it doesn’t escape him that even if Tony says he and Pepper aren’t together, it doesn’t necessarily mean there is nothing between them. And Steve’s honestly not sure why that possibility sits so poorly in his chest, but he does, and he’s not sure what to do about it. 

The first time Steve goes to Tony’s facilities upstate is when everything finally starts making sense, but only after it really really doesn’t. 

It’s late, probably too late to show up to someone’s home without letting them know you’re coming, but Steve was asked last minute to speak at a university upstate that just happened to be a town over from Tony’s facilities and after texting back and forth for the majority of the day, he really wants to see him. 

It’s nice out so he decides on his bike over the driver that the university sprung for. He rides through the hills and down the dirt path that leads to the compound, the front gates just visible in the distance. He slows to a stop at the black security box that stands at the side of the path that extends past the gates and opens his mouth to talk before he’s cut off. 

“Captain Rogers. Your presence is unexpected tonight. Are you here for an appointment?” FRIDAY’s voice sounds from the box. 

“No. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by,” Steve responds

“I will alert the boss that you are here. In the meantime, please feel free to go into the common room of the north wing,” She instructs and the gates that looked completely solid when he rode up a moment ago, disappear before his eyes. 

Steve shakes his head and revs his bike to ride into the parking area outside the north wing. 

The walk into the building is familiar to Steve, having lived there for a while before the accords happened. The entryway is no different than it’s ever been, lined on either side with plants that sit a few feet in front of bookshelves. It smells like it always did after a long day and for a moment, he’s swept up in it. The way that home felt when this was it for him. He misses it and also doesn’t. It’s more like he misses what that time in his life was like. He makes it to the elevator before he realizes that he doesn't actually know for sure that the rest of the compound is how he remembers it. 

“FRIDAY can you bring me to the common room in this building?” He asks looking up to the ceiling out of habit. 

“Going there now, Captain,” FRIDAY responds. The elevator whirs to life around him as it springs upward, quickly slowing on the 6th floor when the doors open up and Steve walks out. 

As he follows the walkway into a large sitting room, he’s suddenly all too aware that he has no real reason to be there. He’d just been following a whim without any real plan for what it might bring him. It’s weird and he’s not sure why he’s done it, outside of truly just wanting to see Tony after only texting for a good few weeks. He misses the company of other people and it felt weird to be so close to his home after being invited over so many times, and not stopping in. 

The floor is different than what it was when Steve had lived here. Before, the 6th floor had been a floor of guest bedrooms and living spaces, a place for those visiting to stay while training or on a mission or on business. Now, it looks like Tony’s made it into a sort of apartment. The living room he’s standing in is big, filled with three plush couches, two sitting chairs and a coffee table. Shelves line the wall and most are filled with old trinkets and a smatter of framed pictures. Steve walks over to one that sits on a shelf in the far corner of the room, behind a big desk. 

The picture is kind of blurry and out of focus but the feeling in it is clear. It’s Tony’s face, close up, his expression is silly and his eyes are crossed but the lines of his face are deep and the edges of his mouth are turned up just slightly in a smile. Steve’s mouth mimics Tony’s without him noticing. 

The other pictures around the room carry the same light heartedness, he discovers as he makes his way over to them, one by one. The next few pictures are of Tony and Pepper and a couple of other friends, Steve recognizes Rhodey in one, at various events throughout the years. It isn’t until the fourth picture that he sees the kid. He looks young in that one, maybe 15, wearing an iron-man shirt and headphones as he looks up at the camera from where he was previously looking down at his phone, face caught mid-laugh. He shows up in almost all of the rest of the pictures Tony has framed around the living room. He’s in the lab with Tony in a few. There’s one frame that holds about five pictures of the two of them, Pepper, another woman, and two other kids around his age all around a giant Christmas tree in the back. 

Steve looks from one to the others and he can’t help the deep frown that crawls onto his face.  _ Who on earth is this kid? _ Steve asks himself, eyes still moving over the pictures that are scattered throughout the living room. He racks his brain for a couple minutes, trying to remember if the face rings any bells in his memories but he’s coming up short. The Christmas photos are what’s confusing Steve the most. They look like photos of a family and for a second Steve considers the wild thought Tony has a secret family like Clint before his brain immediately points out all the ways that is impossible. 

For one, Tony is famous. Certainly there is no way for him to have a whole family without the press catching wind of it. For another, why would he keep a family a secret from his teammates and friends? Also why would he frame photos of his family and display them in the common room of the Avengers compound if they were a secret? 

The rational answer was that Tony must have a close friend with a son, or something like that. Except Steve had been friends with Tony for a long time and he’s not sure that Tony’s ever mentioned any close friends that have stayed in his life through the year except for Rhodey, Happy, and Pepper. Mayb-

“Oh my god!” a voice shouts behind him and Steve actually jumps nearly bumping into the bookshelf as his eyes fly up. 

A boy, the one in all the pictures, is standing across the room back resting against the door as it shuts behind him. His eyes wide with surprise as he clutches a phone and a pop tart in each of his hands, respectively. 

Steve’s face probably mirrors the same expression as he looks back at the kid. 

“Y-you, Your Captain America,” The boy says a bit breathlessly. 

Steve forces his mouth shut before responding. “I….am,” He says back dumbly. 

“What—” His eyebrows knit together as his eyes fall shut and he gives his head a little shake. “What are you doing here?” He says in a frown. 

Steve returns it, his confusion winning over his surprise. “I stopped by to see Tony,” He replies, and then his eyes fall to the poptart in the kid’s hand. “I’m sorry, do you live here?” 

“I—” The kid starts and then he turns to point at the door behind him, mouth hanging open for a second before he continues. “Uh, yeah, sometimes.” and then, “He lectures at MIT on Thursday nights. But he,” he looks down at his watch and Steve notices briefly that it’s the same one that Tony wears. “Should be home any minute now,” the kid finishes, looking back up at Steve. 

It takes Steve a second to respond, “Oh.” Is all he can manage.

“Yeah…” the kid says, eyes falling away from him and looking around the room. 

Steve takes a couple steps away from the bookshelf he’d been standing at and works his way to the boy. “I’m sorry I don’t think I got your name,” he says, hand extended. 

The kid eyes his hand, eyes going wide. “I’m Peter,” he responds, taking Steve’s hand. “Peter Parker.”

Steve’s movements freeze momentarily. Eyes widening and mouth falling open. “Peter Parker.” He repeats and then it hits him. “P.P.” he whispers in realization. 

Peter looks at him like he has two heads, “What?” he says face scrunched again

Steve can’t help the smile that spreads over his face, the picture is so clear now. “P.P.,” he says again and then he laughs. “You’re P.P.” 

Peter’s eyes are trained on him, a little concerned. “Are you okay, Mr.— um... Captain Rodgers?” He asks. 

Steve looks at the poor kid’s face and he tries to hold back his laugh, fixing his expression into something a little more normal. “Yeah, I'm sorry, kid. I just realized something.” He says with a shake of his head. “You’re the P.P. that helped make Tony’s nanotech suit?” 

Peters face brightens, “Oh. Yeah, I guess you’d have seen the inscription, huh?” Peter says more to himself. 

Steve nods. “It’s very cool. You guys did a good job with it.” he offers. 

Peter’s cheeks get a little pink. “He did most of the work, I only helped a little bit,” he says but he’s still grinning. 

“That’s not true, you helped a lot,” Tony’s voice says from the hallway that leads to the elevator. Steve turns around and sees Tony walking into the room eyes moving from Steve to Peter. “Cap,” He says with a nod. “I see you met Mr. Parker.” He looks at Peter. “Kid, could you give Cap and I a couple minutes?” He says calmly. 

Peter eyes Tony wearily and then frowns again. “Are you sure?” he says 

Tony’s head moves back to him. 

“What?” He asks in surprise. 

“Are you sure you want me to leave you two alone?” Peter says pointedly and Tony’s brow furrows. 

“Pete?” He says confused “I— Yes? That’s why I asked?” he says but it comes out more like a question. 

Peter holds his gaze and Tony’s expression is even more confused. They stay like that for a long moment before Peter slowly turns away. 

“Okay well, If you need me, I’ll be in my room,” He says and then he slips back behind the door. 

Tony turns his confused look to Steve and shakes his head before gathering his thoughts again. “What’s up?” He asks. 

Steve looks at him blankly for a moment, brain like always, taking a couple seconds to actually process what just happened. Peter was the P.P. that helped make Tony’s new suit. The P.P. that was on Tony’s calendar at least 15 times in one month. The kid that was in all the pictures, family pictures, it looked like—. He said that he lived at the compound sometimes. It all made so much sense to Steve now. Peter was the “good enough” reason Tony was talking about when he’d told Steve why he’d gotten sober. 

“I—” He starts and then his brain just breaks under Tony’s half confused half worried look. “You have a kid!” He says, finger pointing at Tony in acquisition. 

Tony’s brow furrows even more than it did before. “I do not!” Tony says in outrage, though it doesn’t have any real punch to it. 

“Yes you do!” Peter’s voice shouts back from behind the door. 

Both Steve’s and Tony’s heads snap towards it. 

“Peter go to your room,” says Tony, exasperation heavy in his voice. 

“Uh-ha!” Steve shouts, pointing at Tony with renewed vigor. “You’re a dad!” He says eyes wild. 

“What? I am not a Dad!” Tony says with conviction. 

“Well then what was that!?” Steve says arms gesturing wildly to where Peter is no doubt standing right behind the door. 

“Yeah what am I, Mr. Stark?” Peter chimes in again. 

Tony’s eyes just about jump out of his face, head turning again towards the door. “You’re about five seconds away from losing your lab privileges is what you are,” He shouts back shifting his body to walk over to it. 

“Fine!” Peter says grumpily and then heavy footsteps can be heard walking away. 

Tony takes a deep breath and scrubs a hand over his face. “Jesus. Teenagers, right?” he says and Steve lets out an exasperated growl. 

“Tony what the hell is going on here?” Steve’s voice is higher than it normally is. 

“I don’t know. I just got here.” Tony says, throwing his hands in the air. 

Steve sighs, eyes rolling. “Tony you know what I mean. Who’s the kid?” 

“That’s Peter.” Tony explains. “He’s my…” 

“Son?” Steve offers in a tone that suggests it’s the obvious conclusion to his sentence. 

“Intern.” Tony corrects. 

Steve fixes Tony with a suspicious look. “You have framed Christmas and vacation pictures with your intern?” 

“Intern is a bad title. He’s more of a mentee.” Tony admits. 

Steve’s look is unrelenting. 

“He is! I promise! No blood relation to me whatsoever. He’s just a good kid that’s been dealt a shitty hand in life and I'm trying to help him out,” Tony says defensively. 

Steve looks softens a little. “Does he have parents?” He asks, even though he knows it’s none of his business. 

“He’s got an aunt. Parents died in a car accident when he was four and his uncle died a couple years ago,” Tony says and his voice has an edge to it. 

“Jesus,” Steve murmurs. 

“I know. I’ve been trying to pick up the slack where I can,” He says back. 

Steve eyes him wearily. “What does it look like when Tony Stark mentors a kid?” He asks. 

“I don’t know. It started out with letting him poke around the lab with me after school and on the weekends. Turns out he’s got a brain so I put him to work. It developed from there.” Tony shrugs. “He stays here sometimes. When his aunt travels for work or when we’re just stuck working late,” His tone is casual, like he’s trying to downplay the weight of his next words. “I’ve been to a parent teacher conference. It’s nothing, really. I’m not a dad.” He emphasizes.

Steve’s eyebrows shoot up and he can’t help the smile that crawls onto his face. “A parent-teacher conference?” He barely stops his laugh. 

Tony purses his lips. “Well. Two, but the last one wasn’t really anything just about getting him ready for the SATs.” Tony waves his hand. 

“Oh my god.” Steve’s voice is a low grumble. “You’ve got a kid.” He says and his smile widens. 

“I do-” Tony starts but Steve cuts him off giving him an eye roll. 

“He may not actually be yours but Tony, come on. You’re letting him work on your suits, you’re going to school meetings as his parent, you’ve got framed pictures of him around the compound?” He just shakes his head. “He’s your kid.” Steve says plainly and then points at the door to Peter’s room. “He even said so.” He finishes. 

Tony sighs. “Yeah.” He starts. “Alright. Through no fault of my own, I have a kid.” He finally admits. And then a small smile spreads over his face as he thinks. “He’s a good kid, though.” 

Steve’s heart actually flutters and his expression probably shows it as he looks at Tony. There’s a moment where he just looks at him. Eyes washing over the look of barely contained fondness that’s etched into Tony’s features. 

“Oh wow,” Steve says and Tony looks back up at him.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks

“Nothing,” Steve says and he bows his head to smile down at himself before looking back at the man in front of him. “I’m just—” he shakes his head, unsure of how to put it into words. “I’m just seeing it all for the first time. The whole picture.” He says. “Everything that’s changed about you since before. I was so confused for a long time. I couldn’t figure out what the missing piece was, what had changed to make you change. I thought maybe —I don’t know— I thought maybe you were doing it all to get Pepper back.” He says and then he thinks better of it. “Not that that would be a bad thing,” He rushes to say. “It’s just—I wasn’t sure. But now I get it. You’re doing all of this for him.” Steve finishes. 

Tony just looks at him, eyes locked on Steve’s, expression unreadable. And then finally he speaks. 

“He’s so smart, Steve. I swear there are times that I'll be building something that I haven’t even finished creating in my mind and he’s just right there with me as the picture forms, onto the next step before I can even tell him what it is.” His voice is quiet now, serious. “He’s got such a bright future, I see it every time we talk.” He shakes his head. “And he’s just not gonna get there without help. I’ve gotta be me at my best to keep up with him or it’s— I’ll just never forgive myself.” He says finally. 

Steve’s eyes are soft as he walks forward to put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Something tells me the kid’s gonna be okay, Tony. He seems to love you a lot,” Steve says 

“You just met him, how could you possibly know that?” Tony asks

“Well for one thing,” Steve starts and then he walks over to the door Peter had disappeared behind and hits it with his fist lightly. A muffled “ow, fuck!” sounds from behind the door and Steve smiles. “He seems pretty uncomfortable with you and I being alone together, and I'm guessing it’s because of that time we tried to kill each other.” he says lips still pulled up at the corners. 

Tony’s face falls into surprise as he whispers “oh my god” under his breath. 

“And for another,” Steve starts again. “Everything that I know about you tells me you’re a good dad. I’ve never been caught short with you on my team,” he says. 

Tony’s smile is small but very genuine. “Thank you, Steve” he says quietly. They share a look for a moment and it’s warm and full of something that makes Steve heart flutter again. Then Tony’s smile turns into a frown. “What are you doing here, by the way? Is everything okay?” He asks, half curious half concerned. 

Steve can’t help the blush that climbs up his face at the realization that he’s going to have to confess that he just wanted to see Tony. “I was in the area…” he starts lamely and then he can’t think of anything else to say. 

“You were in the area of the compound at” He looks down at his watch. “9pm on a Thursday and thought you’d just stop by?” Tony asks, mouth curling into a smile. 

“Yeah I…” Steve absently brings a hand up to rub through his beard. “Was curious about that beard oil” He offers. 

Tony gives him a disbelieving look. “Steve.” he says “What’s going on?” 

“I...wanted to see you,” Steve explains. 

Tony eyes him and then looks pointedly all around the room before landing back on Steve’s “Why?” he asks. 

Steve’s blush is spreading now, he can feel it climbing down his neck and up to the tops of his ears. Somewhere in his head he’s being told to respond but everytime he goes to his mouth feels too dry. He swallows roughly, trying to come up with any answer that isn’t the truth. 

“I like looking at you,” he finally blurts out and then closes his eyes and bites down on both of his lips. 

“You like looking at me?” Tony repeats in question 

Steve opens his eyes and looks at Tony, embarrassment threatening to eat him from the inside out. He nods because it’s the only thing he can think to do and because it’s the truth. 

Tony’s face splits into a shiteating grin. “You know, I’ve got headshots around here somewhere if you wanna take one when you leave,” he jokes and Steve's hands come up to his face so he can hide behind them. Tony’s face softens but his amusement sticks as he closes the space between himself and Steve reaching up to pry Steve’s hands away from his face. Steve lets him, he’d never be able to do it if Steve didn’t let him, and he fixes Steve's fully red face with a soft smile. “I’m just messing with you, i’m sorry,” he says and then giggles. “I like looking at you too, Steve,” he reassures him. 

And because Steve is an idiot that is apparently his own worst enemy, he clarifies. “No I mean I  _ really _ like looking at you. Like looking at you makes my heart flutter in a way that my heart hasn’t fluttered since Peggy. Like looking at you made me remember where I feel my love,” he explains because if he’s said it, he has to make sure Tony at least knows what he’s saying. The craziest thing is that, he didn’t even  _ really  _ know that’s how he felt until the words were on his lips. 

To his surprise, Tony’s smile does not go away. Instead, it gets bigger and Steve’s blinded by it for a moment, caught up in the adrenaline coursing through his body and the intensity between their eyes. “I am really bad at this kind of thing, Steve. I—Pepper once told me that being in love with me is life dating a rusty screw. And I’m doing better but I'm still  _ so  _ fucked up and I just—” Tony fixes him with a shy expression and it looks so strange on Tony’s normally confident face. “I’ve always liked you. In the, like,  _ embarrassing dreams _ , kind of way, even when you almost killed me, which I promise you we’ll get into later, but uh— yeah I guess I just...I like looking at you too, Steve.”

Steve doesn’t waste anymore time, he just brings his mouth to Tony’s in a way that half ‘I can’t go another moment without kissing you’ and half ‘lets both shut up before this is super embarrassing for us both.’ Tony relaxes into it quickly and then it’s sweet and soft and good. As soon as they’re mouths hit a groove against each other’s, Tony pulls back.

“You do?” Steve asks before Tony has the chance to talk. 

Tony nods. “I really do.” He assures. “In fact, I would like to look at you at dinner tomorrow.” He says and then adds, “and i’d like to look at you in the car afterwards, and I’d like to look at you in elevator to my floor, and I’d like to look at you in my bed—” 

“Okay i’m gonna be upfront this time and say that I have been listening up until now but this is going wildly differently than what I thought was gonna go down so I am gonna dip at this point but uh— be safe I guess? I don’t know.” Peter’s voice says from behind the door yet again. 

Tony’s open mouth closes as his eyes fall shut and he leans his head forward onto Steve’s shoulder. “Oh right,” He mumbles, clearly embarrassed “I have a kid,” he says and Steve’s laugh falls out of him without permission. 

Tony’s laugh is lost in his as he leans up and kisses Steve again. The next time they break apart Steve finds that his hand has made its way onto Tony’s face and he rubs his cheekbone lightly. 

“We’ll make it work.” He says quietly, and he really thinks that this time, they can. 


End file.
